Drown In It
We love Kristen, Rob, and Rob&Kristen.
A little news, a little humor, a little commentary, a little squee- A LOT of fun.
Confession time: We both had zero expectations for Cannes. We were so, so excited (and yes, oddly proud) when we learned that both Cosmopolis and On the Road would be screening in competition at the festival but as for the R/K-ness of it all? Cautiously optimistic- emphasis on the cautious. We totally respect that Rob and Kristen like to stay private. It doesn’t bother us that much. Really, as fans, all we have a right to expect is that they do good work and wanting anything beyond that, anything of their personal life, that’s on us. There’s no guaranteed “pay off” in being fans of a couple aside from knowing they’re happy and occasionally getting to see examples of that and given just how private R/K are, we became reconciled to that a long time ago.
All that said, we wish EVERY WEEK COULD BE CANNES 2012.
M: I do a kind of hobo update every once in a while for a few friends from an old fandom that only sort of follow R/K and when I wrote to them early, early Thursday morning (after being up all Wednesday night and technically, all Tuesday night what with the OTR photo call starting at 2 A.M.) I said that I was writing from beyond the grave. For whatever reason, claiming to be dead is the most popular form of fangirl hyperbole but I was sort of convinced after those pictures, that I really was. At least a little.
A: It’s probably no surprise that I almost felt hungover the few days after Cannes. It was like all that adrenaline left my body and I was spent. But it was oh-so-worth it!
But we’re getting ahead of ourselves so let’s backtrack to the time before we were dead when Kristen kicked off the festival at the On the Road photo call and press conference looking so chic in a blazer, sunnies, and Balenciaga
^ Rob’s screensaver? Y/FY?
Now Kristen had said the week prior that she planned to go to the Cosmopolis screening in Cannes which was exciting but not hugely surprising. The million dollar question obviously was whether Rob would for the first time ever go to her premiere (for On the Road). Everyone was hopeful, no one assumed. And even if he did go, it was expected he’d do the sneak into the theater thing she’s done in the past.
SO imagine our immense fucking shock and glee when the second we turn on the live stream for the the OTR red carpet…. ROB’S FACE! Right there! On the carpet. Looking so effing dapper in a Dior tux. First one there.
M: To be honest, I was so flabbergasted that I thought I was seeing old footage of something. I couldn’t process that he was really there right away.
A: I did, too! I was on the live stream about 10 seconds before it started and on the twitter scroll at the right someone tweeted “there’s Robert Pattinson” and I immediately thought they were a troll. Then the feed came up and I literally didn’t know what to do first. So, naturally, I twatted the oh-so-clever “ROBBBB!” Because I’m articulate like that. Then I texted you. Then I may have flailed a bit. And you know me: I rarely flail.
^ Look how happy he is to be supporting his girl! That little smile is everything that is right in the world.
And how much do we LOVE that he got there early so as not to detract from Kristen and the cast. He did one interview, posed for about 5 minutes and headed up the famous steps into the theater. Such class. That moment right there basically made the whole premiere a success.
^ So pretty it almost hurts to look at him…and yet we can’t look away.
Then Kristen and cast arrived.
^ Work it, girl.
M: I loved her look. Loved the Balenciaga which was surprisingly pretty (and since she had to wear Balenciaga, it could’ve been a lot worse). Love that it’s a gown that is light and plays up her coloring. Love that she’s wearing all jewelry courtesy of her hobeau. And this is unpopular but I love her relaxed hair and makeup.
A: I liked the dress. I didn’t love it—something about the belt bothers me—but I did like the print and I really liked the green in it. Kristen should definitely wear more green. And, yes, all her ‘tokens’ were present and accounted for. Her eyes could’ve been played up a bit more, but otherwise thumbs-up on hair and makeup.
^ Sometimes all I hear when I look at her is Beast of Burden. “Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, you’re such a pretty girl.”
The cast made their way into the theater and Rob was seated in the row directly in front of them; he was standing and applauding with everyone else as they took their seats. We got this Bigfoot-ish pic of them in the same frame and kinda figured that’d be the extent of it. We have a non-fandom friend who lives for blurry and/or ‘spot the hobo’ photos like this, so no doubt this made her day! ;-)
^ Same frame! Red circles!
But Beek bless the enterprising photographer in the theater who was trained on the cast row when the lights came up after the movie was over.
The person who snapped these deserves a really nice fruit basket.
^ Proud boyfriend after watching the movie for the second time. Even from this angle you just *know* he’s giving her one of those looks.
^ Smiling big for her boy. Even Garrett Hedlund is noticing their love. Or he’s falling for Rob, too. Kidding, kidding.
^ Famous R/K bubble! Everyone else in the theater is looking one way but Rob & Kristen only have eyes for each other and even after all this time, she still has a shy smile for him. <3
M: I was pretty much on a hobo high at this point. Rob on the carpet to see his gorgeous girl was the best. And cute moments between them in the theater was beyond.
A: Our texts were hilarious. We were pretty giddy, to say the least.
M: The very least.
We really had no expectations for the after party since it was a private event and yet…
Oh what’s that you say? No Bigfoot-ing to be found? No grainy footage forcefield in place? This is a clear and obvious pic of R/K PDA? Fuck yes it is. Rob perpetually touching her ass and Kristen basically loving it.
M: Also I can’t express how much I love that they’re talking to Sam Riley and his wife, Alex. When OTR filming started, I wanted Sam & Alex and Rob & Kristen to become boring married couple BFFs. (Srsly, I bugged A about this constantly.) When Rob went to Montreal and hung with Alex while Sam and Kristen were filming, it made my life. I LOVE that it continues.
A: Yeah, you sort of mentioned it once or two…or fifty times.
^ “Is that your butt? Is that your robust butt?” Rob’s hand and Kristen’s ass are the true love story. #OTP
There were only a couple tweets from the party- one that said the R/K table ordered another 8 bottles of champagne around 3 AM and were feeling very celebratory and one that said R/K were in full on bubble mode and he was saying things to her to make her laugh. <3
And like any good boyfriend, Rob also found time to pose with his future mother-in-law. (C’mon, you know it’s going to happen.)
^ Family affair.
So everything was perfect. PERFECT. And the day wrapped up with this super cuteness of them leaving the after party together around 6 AM.
^ Look at those smiles!
Good job, hobos. Epic day.
Little did we know…
All the Bigfoot-esque cockblocking we’ve endured for yeeeeeears? All the “there were no paps around?” statements. All the “oh, I didn’t want to disturb them for a pic” comments? All the “they already left” disappointments? They’d ALL be assuaged that night. In spades!
^ Hobos in their natural habitat
It’s kind of no secret that separation makes R/K more
horny affectionate and less cautious. So yeah, that. (8 bottles of bubbly probably helped too).
MACKING! And not macking in a ‘I think that’s her ear but it might be her hand and it’s too grainy to see if his arm is around her or by his side and I thought that was his shirt but maybe it’s hers’ way. FULL ON KISSING IN PLAIN VIEW ON A MOTHERFUCKING BALCONY IN CANNES!
^ Get it, Rob.
And if a picture’s worth a thousand words, then a gif is worth… 5845835984354939089393 X infinity.
^ His smile right before he goes in. Always so happy to be kissing his girl.
M: And then a whole bunch of adorable shit happened that I think I still haven’t even properly processed because I never thought we’d see it.
A: One of the best texts I ever got was yours at 1:05 A.M. PST with the following: “WAKE UP!!! KISSING PICS!”
M: I don’t even know. See above RE: me being dead. Four years in and now living together and having pet babies and sharing everything, they still look at each other like that. And they still retreat to some corner of a huge party to spend time alone and cuddle and kiss and generally just be obsessed with each other.
A: I think I get a new “favorite” photo every time I look at these. But they all tell the same story: these two? These two are ker-azzy about each other. That infamous bubble that is always talked about isn’t some myth, it just is. They are *that couple.*
^ This is the cutest 2 minutes and 14 seconds that has ever been or will ever be captured on video.
A few more fairly sweet after party deets (totes ignoring they came from a nerdy little blogger).
I received many requests to specify the brand of champagne - 8 bottles were ordered at 2:30am - they were drinking. It was Piper Heidsieck. (Buy shares in Piper Heidsieck right now.) At one point they were looking at iPhone photos of a dog and Stewart clasped her hands to her chest like - he’s SO cute, I love him, oh my God! She was adorable when she was doing this.
Sometimes when they were standing they would talk to people while hugging. That is she’d have her arms around him, and his around her, but they’d open their bodies to the person or people in front of them.
It seems like things are still pretty flirty between the two of them. Once when they were standing alone, as he bent his knees to be able to make direct eye contact with her, she kind of opened her mouth suggestively, and he grinned back like, I’ll have some of that. (Why aren’t they allowed to be like this in the movies?) This was followed by a long kiss and she put her fingers in his shirt.
First, awww at whoever is pet-sitting sending them pics of their baby, Bear. And second, HOT. Of course Kristen is doing suggestive shit with her mouth and of course he’s all over it. Nevah change, hobos!
Best R/K day ever. Pretty sure that was officially declared.
Thursday was pretty quiet. Hobo ninjas managed to skip out on the AmFar gala in favor of spending a quiet evening alone and then hitting a private club with Paul effing Giamatti like the bosses they are.
They also fit in a ton of press where they, among other things, gushed about each other and looked amazing. France really agrees with them. Like, a lot.
^ When they talk each other up, angels sing. #Fact
M: For my money, Friday was not *quite* the banner day that Wednesday was but really, how could anything compare with Wednesday? And there were still some delightfully sweet moments.
A: I mean, we all kind of knew Kristen would be there—she had said as much the prior week—so I was more nervous about how the movie would be received. So going into the premiere knowing Rob was getting great reviews sort of relaxed me in a way I hadn’t been on Wednesday. I was ready to just let what would be, be. #ZenStateOfMind
^ Perfect scruff at the Cosmopolis photo call. Y/FY?
Much like Rob was the first real celeb on the carpet for Kristen’s premiere, so too was she one of the early arrivals for the Cosmopolis premiere and She. Looked. HAWT.
Homegirl brought it for her man’s premiere.
^ Best she’s ever looked.
GUH. In Reem Acra. Flove that she’s embracing the deep v neckline and LOVE that after being more relaxed at her own premiere, she went full out bombshell for Rob.
^ This is classic “he’s mine, bitches.”
Adore that she walked the carpet with Rob’s BFF. TomStu being in Cannes as part of On the Road as well was such a lovely little bonus. So Rob got to be there for his GF and BFF on Wednesday and then Friday they got to be there for him. So much LOVE.
^ Tom is really taking ‘hobo’ to a new level. The samurai topknot is really…interesting. Yeah, we’re gonna go with interesting.
Rob was looking very dapper in full-on tux when he arrived. And he could not stop smiling. That whole movie star thing is a vay, vay good look on him and he wears it well. Really, really well.
^ Is he trying to kill us?
^ Yeah, he definitely is.
^ Handsome man.
So appropriate that for Kristen’s premiere, they both went more casual and for Rob’s premiere, they both got way dressed up as that kinda reflects their sensibilities.
Just like with On the Road, when the movie ended, cast and crew got a lengthy standing ovation and while R/K settled for smiling and giggling at each other during OTR, not so much here. #ShitsAboutToGetReal
Following her first time ever seeing Cosmopolis, girlfriend was ridiculously proud. Rob hung with the cast as long as he could and then made a beeline for her. And it so fits their dynamic. When Kristen is the center of attention (like at her premiere) she would never draw attention to herself by going to Rob because that is not in her nature. But at his premiere—and seeing her so overwhelmed—Rob instinctively went over to her. And, seriously? If these pictures don’t move you, you’re dead inside.
Look at the people watching them—they know it, too. According to some there, those around them were noticeably touched by the sweetness and intimacy of the moment. Tru enuf. Look at them!
Now, If we were still living in the time before Cannes, this would be the extent of after party PDA we could expect.
^ Dude can’t stop smiling.
You can tell that she’s behind him and they’re *probably* holding hands but of course it’s obscured from view because that’s how hobos roll.
But in our new post-Cannes reality…
Non-grainy, non-obstructed, clear as fucking day PDA!
Granted after watching them mack and cuddle
and maybe kinda start to get it on, handholding is a little bit of comedown but still…
^ On top of the world!
We started off by saying we had zero expectations for Cannes. But even if we had high hopes, they would have been far exceeded by the actual events. Not only did Rob and Kristen kick ass on a professional level (which is a long time coming and thrills us beyond belief) but they got to enjoy that together on a personal one. No one—NO ONE—is a bigger fan of them than they are of each other. To be able to share that with each other has got to be such an amazing experience. As happy as we are for us (collective fandom us), we are so, so happy that these two awesome people have each other. It couldn’t happen to more deserving hobos.
Cannes 2012: Never Forget
(Credit: We can’t make gifs or decent edits at all—sometimes simply figuring out copying and pasting has us high-fiving each other—so there’s a good chance we used yours. If you see something you want credit for, tweet us and we’ll definitely add it. :))